From BABIES we do not have any expectations.
We are happy to just watch them grow at their own pace.
BUT as they mature, things change.
Children …develop their own thoughts and feelings.
Parents often
…with increasing expectations and demands
…without due consideration for their needs
…impose on them THEIR opinions of what is correct
…Then problems surface!!
This does not mean that we should not guide the child.
HOWEVER, when we observe them
We will notice certain tendencies and aptitudes emerge.
We should then allow them to express their unique talents.
Acceptance means awareness of the child’s individuality…
…the readiness to encourage growth in the
…direction of his/her aptitude.
Expectation should be to see children succeed
in the field of their choice. It could be in:
arts
science
some unheard of course.
Their success then…becomes a source of joy
for ALL…children and parents!!!
Expectation is misplaced if we want them to be
…different from their NATURAL SELF.
Once a boy asked me:
“My parents want me to be a professional,
…an engineer or a doctor.
But I want to be an artist, a poet or a writer.
I am told…I should obey my parents,
but my heart is not in it.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?”
My answer: “First be sure of your own aspirations.
Be CERTAIN you are not revolting or opposing their ideas
just because they are your parents.
When you are clear about your innate talent
…KNOW what you want to do, EXPRESS IT IN ACTION.
Your parents will see your aptitude and abilities
and give you the OPPORTUNITY to do what you really want.”
ON THE FLIP SIDE:
If parents oppose whatever their children want to do,
it will lead to NOTHING BUT CONFLICT.
BUT if you just allow their personality and talents to grow,
…their respect for you will also grow.
They will THEN either succeed in what they want to do
or know that it is not their true vocation.
– – Swami Tejomayananda