The “Understanding Marriage Retreat” was an excellent camp. Vilasiniji and Vivekji led the gathering very effectively with a combination of teaching, Q&A sessions and practice.
Event Highlights
– The event agenda was very well designed with a mixture of lecture, reflection, Q&A and activities that enabled us to practice and discuss the teachings.
– Chapter 4 of the Bhagvad Gita was used as a backdrop to the Retreat. Vivekji used the verses in the chapter to give several examples and stories that helped us understand concepts such as responsibility, kindness, empathy, reverence, commitment and adaptation.
– The feedback from couples was the discussions and Q&A facilitated deeper questions and conversations among couples on the meaning of marriage.
– The recreational activities on day 2 helped adults bond with each other and the kids.
– Vilasiniji and Vivekji’ s positive energy and love flowed throughout the week.
– Vinayji was adored by the kids and facilitated two days of fun filled activities and teachings for the children!
Friday April 14th
We started with beautiful Aarti and Bhajans followed by dinner and a commencement session led by Vivekji and Vilasiniji. We learned that Marriage is Karma-Yoga – trying one’s best while being neutral to rewards or outcomes such as success or failure. In a marriage purpose pulls performance, you will get what you give! The responsibilities associated with being married strengthen each spouse. As an exercise the couples were asked to reflect on 4 changes in ourselves since marriage – the most common qualities mentioned were patience, loving, adaptation and understanding! Even though Vivekji and Vilasinji had travelled all day to be there on Friday evening – the energy and smile on their face made us all feel very warm and welcome and ready for the next day!
Saturday April 15th
Vivekji talked about Yagna – dedication in marriage and the power of Admitting and Adapting. If we take our spouse for granted, we do not adapt hence it is very important to dedicate and adapt for both parties. Another reflection covered was the need to shift from being an Owner to an Observer – The more we observe in a marriage the more we are balanced. If we are on the same team in a marriage, there is less judgment and more understanding. Every Marriage needs a Growth Strategy for the couple and family. Our spouse is nothing less than a gift from God. We need to have a beginner’s mind and get rid of our egos and be humble for a marriage to flourish. Annoyances in a marriage are OK – We need to be committed and dedicated. Vilasiniji spoke on the Art of Listening, and walked us through the IMAGO technique of expressing ourselves clearly to our spouse, mirroring/reflecting, validating, expressing empathy and responding. The technique was very valuable for all as most of us observed that even after being married for long number of years’ couples are often talking at each other vs. communicating with each other. Practice of the IMAGO couples dialogue technique was a practical technique that every couple found value in.
We had an excellent hike and games at Five Oaks school where adults and kids enjoyed the company of each other and got a lot of fresh air on a sunny day.
Sunday, April 16th
Vivekji talked about CSI – Alter your life positively by making your marriage clean, simple and inspiring. Be reverential to your spouse – LOVE + Respect. Vilasiniji talked about five practical steps to handle negative emotions 1) Viveka – Step Back and Analyze situation 2) Vairagya – Put the situation in perspective 3) Express your feelings with the IMAGO technique 4) Shraddha -Faith, and 5) Compromise. We wrapped up with a beautiful dialogue with Vilasiniji and Vivekji, closing aarti and lunch.